It's been a while since I started this blog and almost just as long since I've written. Many things have come and gone that have lead me down varying paths distracting me from staying focused on what I started several months ago. I could describe these events; however, it is not the events that are important, but the lessons learned. As I sit today in my office, reflecting on where I am in life, I am again reminded that I have no control over my past nor can I predict my future. It is naive for me to even think I can control what is happening at this present moment. However, there is one truth that consumes my attention today. It is the truth that I am only in control of me: my feelings, my thoughts, and my behaviors. That is all, isn't it, that any of us have control over in life, ourselves.
I am in a profession, by choice the profession of psychotherapy, in which I am faced with traumas, tragedies, sorrow, struggles, and at times overwhelming emotional burden from which others are suffering. What I do for these individuals is assist them in thriving through these adversities. I am not in business to change their circumstances, reshape the future events, nor am I hear to "fix" any of their problems. Our goal in working together is to arrive at a place, through the journey of working on their emotional, behavioral, and cognitive responses/reactions to their adversities, so that they can once again be in a healthy state of functioning. It is through these adversities that we many times grow beyond what we have deemed imaginable.
This is hard for some to accept as they are seeking ways out of their circumstances, a way to correct their problems, or a fix for what is broken. Although on occasion things are repairable, many times this is just not possible. This is when returning to the focus over which we have control is more important ever. Our ability to change our internal control is in our power; however, our frantic efforts to externally control our environment, others, and/or events drives us further away from a health mental state, and into depression, anxiety, and despair.
Why then, is this so hard for me to accomplish personally? Isn't this what I help others accomplish? Again, a beautiful reminder on several levels. First, I am not immune to mental anguish just because I'm a therapist. I, to, have emotions, struggles, frustrations, and obstacles to which I am vulnerable. Secondly, those with whom I work, like me, when in the midst of the hurricane of emotions can not see the light of day. Therefore, I must remain patient in my work with them to facilitate a healthy recovery and not force a shallow understanding based on an unstable stance.
The Power of Now. For those of you who may know me personally know that music is my sole. The healing powers in music are incomparable. For it is the music that speaks when we have no words. In listening to this song again today I was reminded that there is power in only the things over which we posses control. That, my friends, is our personal feelings, thinking, and behaviors. This song is very powerful and a great reminder to stay grounded to this truth in our journey and not be swayed. My prayer is that God will keep me/us focused on the things that I/we can control ... which is staying mindful to the decision that I/we make today ... for they are what can lead me/us on the path of righteousness and peacefulness. We can't change the past nor can we predict the future ... but we do have the control to make healthy and grounded decisions today.
That's a wrap!
Jason
